Nobody Wants You

Lately... its been hard to resist contacting him. The only thing holding me back is the fact that I am scared he isnt going to act like he cares. I have constent thoughts and questions lately, but I am trying to convince myself that I am doing the right thing by giving him the space that he asked for. That if I do that, he might come back to me. Though other times I question if he is too far gone to ever come back. Or if it will ever be the same betweeen us anymore. Giving him his space is alot harder then it seems. I just feel like I am on pins and needles. Anything I do could define wether he will want me again. This is so pitiful... :(

My dream: I have a few this time.
Thursday night I dreamed that I was on a trip with some people from highschool and we were riding on a bus. Danielle had left some things in the hotel room so I was going to grab them for her. When I went in there, there was a guy who was getting some of his stuff too. he basically came on to me and told me that he knew I wanted to touch his penis.... I was extremely disgusted and left. When I went outside I was telling a group of friends about what he had said. Then we looked in the window and he grabbed some other girl and was getting freaky with her. We thought it was hilarious, and I think we like banged on the window to mess with them. But we were outside the hotel and we were having a bonfire on top of a trampoline. And my cat got too close and caught on fire. I freaked out and was like running after her but she ran up in a tree. and next time we saw her she had like burnt fur patches all over her. When we went to get back ob the bus brianna smith was behind us in heels and a huge eskimo jacket and she was talking about how she loved how she actually has friends in college.

Last night I dreamed I was at jets at nippers corner, but it looked like chattanooga inside. And I was in the back and I saw Jake and Robby on the camera so I went up there and they acted like they didnt see me. And then when we brought them their food they were talking to be and I was like "what are you guys doing here" and they said they do live pretty close, which is true. But I said I feel like they were here for something else. and they basically admitted that Austin asked them to spy on me. Which kinda made me feel good.
Dreams like that make me wonder maybe he is still thinking about me?

I also had another dream that was like people were chasing me and trying to stop me from saving somebody, and there was a tornoado and they were making everyone get into a building but I stole their truck and like ran over a bunch of stuff to try and go save these people, which I think was supposed to be our sister. Having someone chase you in a dream Is kinda creepy.