Lemon juice on my face

I am so discouraged lately. Like seriously on my first too tests I have made a 70 and a 60. and honestly I seriously do not understand. I am studying, I am going to class. Yeah I may not be completely focused but I am trying very hard. alot harder then almost everybody in college. Maybe I just need to get back into the swing of college. But I let this stuff effect me way too much. And usually I have Austin there to tell me that everything will be fine and that I can do anything and not to stress. He is the only person that can make me relax. But I dont even have him anymore, so I might aswell worry myself to death. Maybe this time of year is just bad for everyone. My courtney is going through something similar with her boytoy. But her grades are good..... I am just not very optomistic about my future right now. I am just too stressed and need to improve my grades majorily. I NEED AN A in everything..... I hate my life. when will good things start happening to me? is this Karma? like... what did I do? without you its been hell.

Dream: I was at home and Austin was coming with my family to a party and then afterwards he was going to Jake and robbys party that he didnt even invite me too.. I remember thinking that I wanted him to invite me. My parents were going to let me and Austin drink and he asked if I would be mad, I told him it was fine if he wanted to. After there was a huge party on shores rd that they seriously imported an ocean and sand, and had speed boats, jets skis and fair. Me and stacie werent invited so we showed joseph raby our boobs to get in. Though I was just with Austin earlier, he wasnt talking to me. To get further into the fair, you had to go through these trials and games to continue. for example there was one game where you turned a vacum on and it chased you until you found the prize then it would turn off. I was trying to find austin and i ran into eli and he acted very wierd, like austin was avoiding me. But i forced him to bring me to him. When he saw me he was with his mom and grandma and I sarcasticly thanked his mom for pretending like she didnt know me. I started to walk away upset and Austin was like noo noo this is my fault and tried to come after me. When I was leaving I ran into this guy that liked me... he was "old austin" meaning like highschool austin.. he was different then. And he was asking me if I liked him. And I told him that I was crazy in love with current Austin but that he was second on my list. And I apologised to him.