So this past week has been quite terrible. After I last posted I was floating on clouds. And then the next day I started feeling some stumache pain. I had just gotten off my period so I thought it was just cramps and let it slide. Then I started feeling more discomfort and itching. I thought it was a yeast infection because I have had several before. Using some OTC treatment it seemed to help the itching but the pain was getting worse. I woke up saturday morning peeing blood and barely being able to walk. Safe to say I had a UTI. which was quiet uncomfortable asking my mom to come with me to the doctors because UTI's are typically associated with sex. But it had to be done. So I had to call out of work saturday and lost a 7 hour shift. but it was time much needed. No to mention earlier in the week. Tuesday night/wendsday morning. Gizzy woke me up at 5 am barking. I thought she needed to use the bathroom. but she was trying to tell me something was wrong. I go downstairs and rollie is making a loud weezing/moaning noise like she couldnt breathe. Now keep in mind that my parents are out of town visiting my sister, so I am home alone. She is an older dog, and i new instantly that she was dieing. I cried and held her and tried to make her feel loved the best way I knew how. I stayed up for an hour with her and eventually called my mom at 6am to ask what to do. She told me to go back to sleep and if she is still doing it in the morning take her to be put down. My mom called me wendsday morning at 8 am to see what I had decided to do. I hadnt checked on her yet so I said I would call her back. I had put rollie in a dog bed for more comfort. I go downstairs and she is dead. Head rolled back, eyes and mouth wide opened. I called my mom to tell her. Essentially I was freaked out, and then I was just upset. I tried to close her eyes but they wouldnt close. I called my neighbor to help bury her. It was Tramatizing to say the least. especially since I had to go to school. That night I texted austin and asked if he would come over.. that rollie had died and I needed comfort. Though he really did sound sympathetic he said he already had plans..... I was sitting at home by myself balling my eyes out. Wouldnt you want to make sure I was okay? that was just kind of hurtful. I keep thinking about him. I just want things to be good again. And I keep wanting to talk to him but I dont want to be pushy. I think they are improving, I just cant really tell because he is the one that needs improving, not me.
Dreams: My parents were getting a divorce, and my dad was the one who wanted it, and we were trying to get him to change his mind.
Me and Austin were at some sort of weird college where to get anywhere you had to go through tunnel made of glass. There were lots of overgrown plants everywhere. and something about a fraternity maybe a party or something.
I was going to a lady gaga concery and it was a group and we were bringing weed and acid. On the way in the had police searches on a dirt road near a river. I had the drugs in my bag, and the dog that was sniffing i somehow knew and I told him to jump in the river and he listened to me. I jumped in after him and told the cops that he likes to float and relax. somehow the dog ended up being gizzy. And I was sara, but as a boy. When we got out I stuffed the drugs in my underwear.
I made out with matt from jets chatt and told him I loved him. ?????????
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